零距离美国课堂

讲两个真实的故事：

两年前新奥尔良刮飓风Katrina的时候，很多人撤到了我们附近投奔亲友，我的“聪明”的学生可没错过绝好的不做作业的机会。有一次我的一个学生没做作业，煞有其事地告诉我家里来了好多躲飓风的亲戚，家里卧室床都睡满了，堂兄表妹们不得不睡地铺了，家里所有床垫褥子都用上了，最后他不得不贡献出了书本纸张铺地铺用，所以我的作业纸也未能幸免地牺牲掉了。  我还得骄傲我的薄薄的作业纸还为飓风难民做了点绵薄的贡献呢！  

前几天一学生交不出作业，理由是：我男朋友（我看了她一眼后她马上改口为ex-boyfriend前男朋友，因她记得刚跟我讲过与男朋友分手的催人泪下的感人故事。）昨天闯到她家，掠走了她所有的衣物和日用品。。。包括她珍视无比的我的作业纸，所以很抱歉作业不能交了。她讲得栩栩如生，悲痛欲绝，我说是啊，难怪你得跟他吹，多心痛啊，那么多漂亮的衣服，还有你心爱的小包包，比起那些来，作业算得了什么，不就是个零分吗？！  

I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to MY TEACHER'S already heavy workload.

I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.

I put it in a safe, but lost the combination.

Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked.

I loaned it to a friend, but he suddenly moved away.

I left it in my shirt and my mother put the shirt for washing.

My little sister ate it.

Could not log on to indianchild.com.

A sudden wind blew it out of my hand and I never saw it again.

I was kidnapped by terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

The lights in our house went out, and I had to burn it to get enough light to see the fuse box.

Another pupil fell in a lake, and I jumped in to rescue him but unfortunately my homework drown.

I used it to fill a hole in my shoe, you wouldn't want it now.

My father had a nervous breakdown and he cut it up to make paper dolls.

I didn't do it, because I didn't want the other kids in the class to look bad.